I bet when you read the word “Vulnerable” that little voice in your head immediately woke up and said “Aw fuck that noise!” right?
Well, if if did and you got a little pucker factor too, you’re definitely not alone!
It seems from a very early age we’re taught stupid stuff like, “Don’t let them see you sweat”, “Only the strong survive”, or another fan favorite, “Crying means you’re weak!” See where I’m going with this?
So, it’s no wonder we spend the rest of our lives trying to show the world, and those we want approval from the most, just how “Strong” we are right? It’s no wonder the pharmaceutical industry for anti-depression medicine continues to skyrocket and why my CVS pharmacist looks like she’s going to become a patient as well as dispenser of said meds. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the following shocking fact:
“From 1999 to 2012 the percentage of Americans on antidepressants increased from 6.8% to 13%, according to a report published this week by the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA).” If you’d like to read more here is the link but please finish reading this first!
That said, when we think about allowing ourselves to feel and be vulnerable, our ass clinches, our hearts start beating more rapidly, and we get what? Yes, scared! “What will people think of me if I show who I truly am or what I’m going thru right now? Will they cast me aside because I have challenges? Will they disown me from their club?” “Will it make me any less of someone who deserves love and is actually HUMAN like everyone else?” What’s the resounding answer to these questions?
Personally, it’s taken a long time, with progressive work on myself both self-administered and with clinical assistance to get where I am today. Which is UNSTOPPABLE and CONFIDENT! Am I like this 100% of the time? Fuck NO! Shit, I’m still a little kid inside this “adult” body a lot of the time! But the key is I keep making progress and you know what? It feels AMAZING to fly my freak flag proudly!!
Case in point: You’re gonna love this! So, I started shaving my head last year I think when two people close to my heart were diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd and 3rd times! Yeah #FUCKCANCER!! Anyway, for honestly most of my life I was just a little vain about my hair. It was long, full, and actually had to thin it out I had so much! Well, time and heredity came tripping along and lo and behold it started getting thinner more naturally than with the hair stylist’s thinning sheers. So, I took the plunge thinking, “If these women can cut their amazing hair, then I’m a dick if I can’t shave my measly mop too!
With the buzzing clippers in hand I went for it! Was I scared? Hell yeah! Did I wonder what people would think and about all the jokes I’d get? Did I even go so far as to ponder if I had the head for being shaved? Shit yeah people! Remember, I was the long-haired rocker biker chick chaser for God sakes!! However, like I’ve said a bazillion times, I kept my WHY in the forefront of my mind and never looked back. Well, that’s a lie! I looked back about several hundred times in two days to see if my head changed looks!! Truth!
Guess what happened when people saw me? Sure I got a few ribbings from people but all in good harmless fun. But what’s even way more important, is the positive reactions I received! “Wow Christopher, that’s a great look on you! “I wish I had enough guts to go for it!” And so on! It really taught me a valuable lesson about INNER strength and the true power of KNOWING OUR WHY’s in life! #thinkaboutit
Here is a picture of me in the old days so you can visually see what I’m talking about: