Breaking points – we all have them right? The moment when the steam starts blowing out your ears, your heartbeat pounds in your earlobes, and when keeping your mouth shut is nearly a feat of sheer strength right?
Hello and welcome back to the fourth installment of “Change Your Attitude – Change Your Life” where yours truly shares proven methods for living a successful and happy life! So, let’s make this fun shall we? I like to break it down with fun names to keep my thoughts on the bright side in a tough situation. Here are the players in the game I’ve come across. Tell me if they sound familiar!
“Button Pushers” – don’t ya just love ‘em? NOT! You know, the people who have the Jedi Warrior ability to send your blood pressure straight into the danger zone right? It’s like they’re sneaky little bank robbers trying to find the precise combination to your safe – where we keep all our rage!
“Ignorant Idiots” – These are the folks you’re surprised are allowed to even procreate! Yet, somehow, they manage to have just enough brain cells to get by and stay in our life! The sad part is they don’t even realize they do or don’t do anything! As a result, this triggers our internal Mel Gibson with Tourette’s voice to wanna come out and play for a few minutes!
“Constant Complainers” – OMG! Now, I know you’ve got some of these people around you right? Heck, I don’t even need to offer an explanation on this one!
“Lazy Achievers” – These guys, these people who always manage to get the promotions, the awards, the special assignments, despite the fact we do all the work!!!! Ya just wanna strangle them right?
There are many more, but in the interest of time and space we’ll keep the list brief. Now, what do these lovely people in our lives all have in common? They will be there whether we like it or not.
There are two actions you can take. One, accept the situation for what it is and make the best of it. Or, two, decide to take action to change it. Just be careful if you’re trying to change it by playing dirty pool. Karma has a way of coming back around on those strategies.
“So, Christopher, what do we do???” Great question! Personally, I’ve had success with a couple of the following methods for dealing with coworkers who just set my blood a boil:
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This strategy is amazing! I’ve found more times than not, I (yes me) really didn’t understand where the other person was coming from. Relationships changed immediately when I took the time to understand rather than assume.
- Respond vs React. All too often our internal trigger button is pushed and it’s all over. Well, it only takes minutes to damage what took years to build. If you feel yourself about to blow like Chernobyl, take a five minute walk. And for dang sure DO NOT hit the SEND button on an email!
Ultimately, it all comes down to communication. Speaking (choosing words carefully), listening (not just selective hearing), and of course, paraphrasing back to the sender what you understood. If you’re dealing with a situation of conflict, know the best time to approach the person, and know you yourself are in a good frame of mind too.
Lastly, if all else fails, play the “Inside Voice Game” with yourself. Here’s how it works: Someone starts pressing your sequence buttons, then, you say the first thing that comes to mind – ONLY in your head! Then, filter it, and provide killer customer service with a smile (gritting smile, but at least a smile).
Until next time, remember to take care of yourself in body, mind, and soul! Life’s too short to let other people get the best of YOU!
If you have a particular teamwork situation you’d like my advice on, please don’t hesitate to call or email!
PS: Thank you again to everyone who’s written or called me about these articles!
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